Change We Can Believe In!

This is freaking hilarious! To bad they don't have Obama too.



(h/t) 45-Caliber Justice

Gangsta'

Found here and modified by me with The Gimp. This reminds me of the HomeBoy Sights which I posted about a while back.

Laughs from the past...

Some people, it seems, have a tenuous at best grip on reality. Consider this which was mistaken for a real product by some of the more fever brained a while back. I wonder if I can get Carolyn "barrel shroud" McCarthy to ban these?

I thought this was funny!

I don't know who wrote it originally as it came to me unattributed, but here it is. Enjoy!

-------

The Night before Christmas (as it should be........)

'Twas the night before Christmas,
cold, dark and foreboding,
I sat at the work bench,
quite busy reloading.

The empties from autumn were polished so clear
for primers and powder and bullets from Speer
and Hornady´s soft-points, and Nosler´s Partitions
(my bench Ain’t no place for brand
name omissions!).

All sat in their boxes, right next to the
press with dies from Pacific, and RCBS,
when all of a sudden there came such a jolt,
I grabbed for my Benelli and whipped out my Colt.

As I spilled Hodgdon's powder all over the shelf,
I scrambled for cover, just to protect myself.

From up on the rooftop, came hoofbeats and snorting
like the noise out of L'il Rock from Clinton's cavorting!

I eased off the safety to press-check my
auto with 230-talons I'll knock 'em all blotto.

Were these rogue federal agents sent by Schumer and Reno ?
Or a staggering Ted Kennedy, in bad need of vino?

My question was answered with a knock, and some sneezing,
"It's Santa, you moron, lemme in there, I'm freezing!"

I flipped off the dead-bolt and threw the door wide
to find St. Nick a shivering, Rudolph by his side.
He eyeballed my A.K. with a nod of approval
"You're all set," he said, "for dirtball removal."

"But this is no raid, we're not here to harm you
nor persecute, prosecute, nor even disarm you."
"Instead," said dear Santa, "I needed to borrow
your .357 'till day after tomorrow."

"It's okay," he assured me, with a hint of frustration,
"I'm enrolled in the National Rifle Association."

He showed me his card, 'twas a Life Member rating,
"I've had this since me and the missus were dating!"

"And you see, Dave, ol' buddy, I've gotten real nervous
since Feinstein was elected with a promise to serve us.


So henceforth as I'm out there, my presents a stackin',
I want to assure you, I'm legally packin'',
and my gift for you this year should give you a hoot
I've told the Supreme Court to give Brady the boot!

Now, Rudy and I must be on our way,"
he said as he climbed back in his sleigh.
With the reins in his hand and my Colt in his pocket,
he jingled the sleighbells and was off like a rocket.

With a pair of speedloaders and ammo to spare,
I knew he'd be safe, he was loaded for bear!

As he faded from view, I could still hear him calling
"From D.C., where 'P.C.' is already falling.
To bad guys in L.A. , Detroit and Atlanta ,
"I'm licensed to carry, don't go messin' with Santa!"

Alrighty...

The Journalist's Guide to Gun Violence Coverage

The Journalist's Guide to Gun Violence Coverage
By. Dr. Michael Brown

Guns are a sad fact of life in American culture and are a major topic in modern journalism. A good Journalist has a duty to get involved and make a difference in this important societal debate. By following certain guidelines, the concerned Journalist can be assured of having the maximum impact on this shameful problem.

The first principle to remember is that subtle use of terminology can covertly influence the reader. Adjectives should be chosen for maximum anti-gun effect. When describing a gun, attach terms like "automatic," "semi-automatic," "large caliber," "deadly," "high powered," or "powerful". Almost any gun can be described by one or more of these terms. More than two guns should be called an "arsenal".

Try to include the term "assault weapon" if at all possible. This can be combined with any of the terms above for best results. Nobody actually knows what an assault weapon is, so you cannot be criticized for this usage. Your local anti-gun organization can provide you with a list of the latest buzz words like "junk guns," "Saturday Night Specials," and "the criminal’s weapon of choice".

Don’t worry about getting technical details right. Many a reporter has accidentally written about semi-automatic revolvers or committed other minor errors. Since most people know little about guns, this is not a problem. Only the gun nuts will complain and they don’t count. The emotional content of your article is much more important than the factual details, since people are more easily influenced through their emotions than through logic.

Broadcast Journalists should have a file tape showing a machine gun firing on full automatic. Run this video while describing "automatic" weapons used in a crime or confiscated by police. At the least, a large graphic of a handgun should be displayed behind the on-air personality when reading any crime story.

Do not waste words describing criminals who use guns to commit crimes. Instead of calling them burglar, rapist, murderer, or repeat offender, simply use the term "gunman". This helps the public associate all forms of crime and violence with the possession of guns.

Whenever drug dealers are arrested, guns are usually confiscated by the police. Mention the type and number of guns more prominently than the type and quantity of drugs. Include the number of rounds of ammunition seized, since the number will seem large to those who know little about guns. Obviously, the drug dealers who had the guns should now be called "gunmen".

Political discussions on gun control legislation usually involve pro-gun organizations. Always refer to these organizations as "the gun lobby". If space permits, mention how much money the gun lobby has spent to influence political campaigns and describe their legislative lobbying efforts as "arm twisting" or "threats".

Gun owners must never be seen in a positive light. Do not mention that these misguided individuals may actually be well educated, or have respectable jobs and healthy families. They should be called "gun nuts" if possible or simply gun owners at best. Mention details about their clothing, especially if they are wearing hunting clothes or hats. Mention the simplistic slogans on their bumper stickers to show that their intelligence level is low. Many gun owners drive pickup trucks, hunt and live in rural areas. Use these details to help portray them as ignorant rednecks. Don’t use the word "hunt". Always say that they "kill" animals.

Don’t be afraid to interview these people, they are harmless even though we don’t portray them that way. Try to solicit comments that can be taken out of context to show them in the worst possible light.

Never question the effectiveness of gun control laws or proposals. Guns are evil and kill people. Removing guns from society can only be good. Nobody really uses guns for legitimate self-defense, especially women or children. Any stories about armed self-defense must be minimized or suppressed.

Be careful about criticizing the police for responding slowly to 911 calls for help. It is best if the public feels like the police can be relied upon to protect them at all times. If people are buying guns to protect their families, you are not doing your job.

Emphasize stories where people kill family members and/or themselves with guns. It is important to make the public feel like they could lose control and start killing at any moment if they have a gun in the house. Any story where a child misuses a gun is front page material.

View every shooting as an event to be exploited. Always include emotional quotes from the victim’s family if possible. If they are not available, the perpetrator’s family will do nicely. The quote must blame the tragedy on the availability of guns. Photos or video of grieving family members are worth a thousand facts. Most people will accept the assertion that guns cause crime. It is much easier than believing that some people deliberately choose to harm others.

Your story should include terms like "tragic" or "preventable" and mention the current toll of gun violence in your city or state. Good reporters always know exactly how many gun deaths have occurred in their area since the first of the year. List two or three previous incidents of gun violence to give the impression of a continuing crime wave.

Little space should be devoted to shootings where criminals kill each other. Although these deaths greatly inflate the annual gun violence numbers, they distract from the basic mission of urging law abiding citizens to give up their guns. Do not dig too deeply into the reasons behind shootings. The fact that a gun was involved is the major point, unless someone under 18 is affected, in which case the child angle is now of equal importance.

Any article about gun violence should include quotes from anti-gun organizations or politicians. One quote should say that we must do something "for the children". Anti-gun spokespersons should be called "activists" or "advocates". If your employer wishes to appear unbiased, you can include one token quote from a gun lobby group to show that you are being fair. The anti-gun statements should be accepted as fact. The gun lobby statement can be denigrated by including text like, "according to gun lobbyist Jones."

Fortunately, statements from anti-gun organizations come in short sound bites that are perfect for generating an emotional response in the reader or viewer. Gun lobby statements usually contain boring facts that are easy to ignore.

Feel secure in your advocacy journalism. The vast majority of your fellow Journalists support your activism. The nation will be a better place when only the police and military have guns. Remember that you are doing it for the children so the end justifies the means.

Eventually, the government will have a monopoly on power. Don’t worry about the right to freedom of the press, just contact me then for more helpful hints.

Professor Michael Brown
School of Journalism, Brady Chair
Vancouver College of Liberal Arts

Political Satire, copyright 1999, Michael Brown. May be reproduced freely in its full and complete form. The author may be contacted at mb@e-z.net

How to (not) Reload!

...and that was the last anyone ever heard from him! ;-)

New Smart Gun Developed

TRENTON, New Jersey - NJ Governor John Corzine and the NJ Attorney General are pleased to announce that after millions of taxpayer dollars being given to NJIT, a Smartgun has finally been developed.

This new gun implements the NJ Smartgun law. Now the only handguns that can be sold in New Jersey are Smartguns pursuant to the Smartgun law. This is particularly good news for the Governor who desperately wants to blame guns for all of New Jersey's crime problems and finally the backdoor handgun ban (NJ's Smartgun Law) can take place.


From a reader. Hilarious! :-)

Good Luck With That...

From the "Odd Searches" file:

Notice the country of origin and terms searched with...

Let me know how that works out for ya.

All Points Bulletin!

Be on the look out for the following:



Thanks to Blogonomicon!
Direct .PDF download.

The Fantastic Voyage of Billy The Bullet

I might be insulted if it weren't so laughable. Here the anti's go again, assigning human feelings and blame to an inanimate object.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you, Billy the Bullet!

P.S.: What are round nose hollow points anyway?

When Jihad Strikes!

LOL

What am I?

My Conservative Identity:

You are an Anti-government Gunslinger, also known as a libertarian conservative. You believe in smaller government, states’ rights, gun rights, and that, as Reagan once said, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’”

Take the quiz at www.FightLiberals.com

Color me surprised...

Thanks Tamara!

Criminals Love Gun Control!

More meaty goodness from Fox News' "The Half Hour News Hour!"

Make your own Gun-Free Zone!

...and watch the criminals run away!

STOP! Hammer Time!

(The following is based on a real event, which I link to after, but it has been highly fictionalized and exaggerated to prove a point. -Yuri)

Beaverton, OR- A 56 year old woman was randomly attacked in the Beaverton, OR Fred Meyer store by a hammer wielding psychopath.

Beaverton Police Sergeant Paul Wandell confirmed that the attack happened around noon at the Fred Meyer store located at the Beaverton Town Square. Details are still sketchy, but the victim has been identified as Sharon Weil, and the hammerman as 65 year old Eric Osterholme.

Witnesses said the hammerman hit Weil in the head with a hammer and then threw it into the next isle before walking away. Police arrested him at the scene on attempted murder charges.

Police have recovered the hammer, a Stanley roofing model with a high grip capacity, texturized rubber handle and nail claw shroud.

Police have tracked the hammer to the hardware store where it was purchased by the suspect. They say that the hardware store did nothing wrong, and that Osterholme had passed a federally mandated background check at the time of purchase. While Osterholme does have mental health issues, apparently they were not entered into the system because he was being treated on an out patient basis.

Shortly after the incident, Governor Ted Kulongoski announced an executive order closing the "psycho-hammer" loophole. Congresswoman Carolyn McCarthy appeared on nation wide television and stressed that the Assault Hammer Ban should not have been allowed to sunset, and that her new Assault Hammer Ban would have prevented this tragedy. Her new bill would ban Assault Hammers as well as "claw shrouds". When asked by the news commentator several times what a "claw shroud" was, she evaded the question, but was finally forced to admit she had no idea what they were. She made a feeble attempt to answer by saying "..the thing that goes up???" to which the commentator said simply "No, it's not."

Sarah Brady and The Brady Campaign wasted no time in milking the incident to try and raise a little cash. They immediately fired off a letter to their supporters asking how this senseless tragedy could have been averted. Their answer of course was to give them more money, to stem the flow of "hammer violence." Part of their email read, "Everyday in America, thousands of thumbs are painfully mashed, including many childrens. We can stop these painful and senseless 'accidents'. Remember, if it saves just one thumb..."

As the facts in this case continue to come to light, one thing is certain. The debate in this country over the average citizens right to keep and bear hammers will become even more heated. With the anti-hammer camp continuing to insist that hammers should only be available to licensed carpenters, and the pro side insisting that every American citizen has the God given right to own a hammer.

-Yuri Orlov, Reporting.

Here are the links as promised:

http://koin.com/Global/story.asp?S=6514690
http://blog.oregonlive.com/breakingnews/2007/05/suspect_in_hammer_attack_refus.html
http://www.nwcn.com/statenews/oregon/stories/NW_051207ORNhammerKS.62e019d5.html
http://blog.oregonlive.com/breakingnews/

Pro-Gun cartoons!

Japanese Learning English

This is both hilarious and disturbing. While it's laugh out loud funny by US standards, the victim defenselessness that it perpetrates is dangerous. Of course, coming from the unarmed island of Japan, it is only logical I suppose. I know in the same situation, I will most definitely not be saying "Take anything you want!" and "Spare me my life!"